Basketball’s loss could be soccer’s gain, according to one former NBA All-Star. Though it has largely been thought an NFL star, namely Chad Johnson Ochocinco, would be the first cross-over athlete to soccer, instead it now appears that former Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas wants to try his hands — er feet — at soccer.
“Look, I’ve got a lot of time on my hands,” Arenas told JC.com. “I don’t want to just sit around shooting the breeze with people. I figure D.C. United could use a big star so they should sign me even though I’m not from South America. They’ve got some good weapons in their attack with Jaime Moreno and Santino Quaranta and Fred. Plus, I’m a much better blogger than Bobby Boswell ever was.”
Arenas, who is currently suspended indefinitely from the NBA due to bringing guns into the locker room at the Verizon Center, has never played soccer in his life. Though many might think a point guard would want to play goalkeeper to continue to use his hands, Arenas wants to be an attacker.
“You saw me play,” Arenas explained. “I hated playing defense. And even though I’m ‘Agent Zero’ I’ll be changing my number to 82 because that’s how many assists I’m gonna have.”
The outspoken University of Arizona product doesn’t see any problems with MLS Commissioner Don Garber allowing him to play in the league while he is suspended from the NBA.
“Look, they’ve got enough problems they’re trying to sort out with their new CBA. I know I can’t be a free agent, have a guaranteed contract, or have my name on my jersey say ‘HIBACHI,’ but I know I can bring guns into the locker room with me. That’s just a fundamental right even MLS, with all their cockamamie ideas, knows it can’t restrict. And if I’m playing at RFK I need some protection from those rats.”
(For the record, Arenas was talking about the animals in the bowels of the stadium, not anyone in the front office.)
What United could afford to pay Arenas is another issue, however. Under his current NBA contract — 6 years for $111 million — the former hoopster would earn more than every MLS player combined in the history of the league.
“Money’s not a problem for me. I’m an adidas man so I’m good there. I’ll probably do a deal with Nerf for their Dart Tag game. And since no one in MLS knows any of the card games I know, I can pick up some pocket change on road trips too. Those guys just better not make any threats about my knees.”